Gottman Method Couples Therapy

What is Gottman Method Couples Therapy?

The Gottman Method for Couples Therapy is a research-backed approach designed to improve communication, deepen connection, and rebuild trust in relationships. It focuses on identifying unhelpful patterns and replacing them with tools to foster understanding, respect, and intimacy.

A key element of this method is the "7 Principles of the Gottman Method", which guide couples toward healthier dynamics:

1. Build Love Maps: Get to know each other's inner world.

2. Share Fondness and Admiration: Express appreciation and respect regularly.

3. Turn Toward Instead of Away: Respond positively to bids for connection.

4. Accepting Influence: Lower defensiveness and let your partner influence you.

5. Solve Problems that can be solved: Communicate constructively without escalating negativity and come to solutions.

6. Overcome Gridlock: Learn to communicate effectively and respectfully about problems that have no solution.

7. Create Shared Meaning: Make each other's individual life dreams come true and build a shared sense of purpose and values.

The Gottman Method is effective because it doesn’t just address surface issues—it focuses on building a solid foundation for long-term connection. By strengthening friendship, emotional intimacy, and conflict resolution skills, couples can repair and grow their relationship in meaningful ways.

Book a free 15 minute phone consultation with a Gottman trained therapist now

What does the Gottman Research say about Relationships?

John Gottman and his colleagues completed decades worth of research studying couples and are able to, at a 94% accuracy rate, determine within a 30 minute conversation the future longevity of a relationship.

With this information, he and his wife, Julie Gottman, created the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy to address the core issues he saw lead to the breakdown of marriages.

Some key findings of his research were:

• The presence of defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling, and criticism in conflict predicted earlier divorce, approximately 5.6 years after the wedding.

• Emotional withdrawal and lack of positive affect during conflict predicted divorce, approximately 16.2 years after the wedding.

• Fondness and admiration for each other can be a buffer against unhealthy conflict.

• When men were unwilling to accept influence from their partners, divorce could be predicted with 80% accuracy. Interestingly, the reverse was not true—most women in the study did accept influence, and their willingness to do so did not serve as a predictor for the relationship's outcome.

• Contempt in communication and conflict was the biggest predictor of divorce.

Research findings were compiled from Gottman Method Level 1 and 2 training manuals.

The Gottman's therapeutic approach to couples therapy helps to heal the challenges that they found lead to divorce.

By the end of this process, couples often experience a deeper emotional connection, mutual respect, more effective communication, and the ability to operate as a united team in their relationship.

At Tri Lotus Psychotherapy, your trained Gottman Method therapist will create a treatment plan that address the root causes of the struggles in your relationship. It will be based on your therapy goals, so that we can make the most of couple counselling.

Book a free 15 minute phone consultation with a Gottman trained therapist now

Who can Gottman Marriage or Relationship Counselling help?

Gottman Couples Therapy can help with a variety of relationship or marital issues. Some of the areas we specialize in are:

• Communication Concerns

• Conflict Management

• Intimacy/Sex

• Feeling Disconnected

• 2SLGBTQIAP Couples

• Grief & Loss

• Pregnancy Loss

• Life Transitions/Stress

• Blended Families

• Transition to Parenthood

• Premarital Counselling

• Difficulties with Extended Families

• Maintenance Sessions

• Emotional Betrayals

Book a free 15 minute phone consultation with a Gottman trained therapist now